POP OH!

4 MONTHS of BMT with bae and is finally coming to an end! Not only baby is a winner on getting thru BMT but hell yes, I am a winner as well for being able to stay loyal and always loving bb no matter how tough it has been for the both of us. All I am looking forward to is tomorrow where bae's gonna fetch me from school after my finance test which requires only 50 minutes of my time and that is way lesser than the travelling time from home to school. 😪 Despite the fact that bb's done with BMT, and we're both so so happy(already have plans to be out to Jaybee for food hunting haha), I won't be able to watch bae's POP marching thingy, because of the limited tickets. Sucks but at least I get to set his army photo as my screen wallpaper. (Obsessive girlf) 😏 

Very short post tonight because I am sooooooo exhausted tonight for sleeping late the whole week, all thanks to my sister who needed my help with accounting every single night! 

Goodnight!!! 

Embracing..

Embracing what? Embracing the fact that babe's having BMT and wouldn't be able to spend so much time with me, even on special events. You were supposed to be attending mother's surprise birthday party but all thanks to field camp, you couldn't. Surprisingly, quite a number of guests were asking me about you, bae. Even mother was finding for you once she had her blindfold opened. It sucks but hey, there are more opportunities for such events, bb. I can't deny that I have been missing you so much the past few days but alhamdulillah sayang, the activities that I had the past few days filled up my days without you. I'm not saying I've been fine without you since I'm all busy, but I feel so much less lonely and negative when I'm outside, socialising with people, knowing that, some are even having a harder time as compared to me.. 

I met a few new people in my life, and it has definitely been a blessing in disguise. This whole week, I interacted with 7 new people in Woodlands area and also school. I have no idea why bb but most of them shared stories about their personal lives with me. It was shocking because personally, I don't wish to share much with people that I barely know but alhamdulillah, perhaps they feel comfortable with me. Definitely felt honored about it though.. 😆

2 more days to go, bae and I will be hearing from you again bb! Monday is all about lectures and work while Tuesday is all about a lecture, lessons and production.. It's gonna be fast for me, bb and I will plan a surprise for you, okay bae? I love you, sayang ~

Long gone

Hello, everyone! MIA for more than a month all because of my hectic schedule. SCHOOL HAS BEGUN! YAP, as much as I am super excited to learn new things, get through the assignments, projects like a regular student, I can't deny that I'm sort of not looking forward to it because this just means, LESS SLEEP! 😟 But, I'm pretty sure I could handle it well, I guess. Hahaha!

My definition of BUSY just means......

Lectures, assignments, projects, finals...
Production training, rehearsals...
Teaching in the evening...
Accounts Assistant in the afternoon....
Sakura on SOME days.. (really seldom since its super flexi)

I am still contemplating about the dance classes with Amal and Dinz tho. So, THAT, too, will be in my list of busy.

I have to say that, the past 1 month, it has been a super interesting month for me, knowing that bae's been doing well in Army, 4 minutes for SOC and HENCE, booking out at 11am tomorrow guiseeee! SAPPPPPPP! Hahahaha! Did we fight? Yes, we did. Once. Tak gaduh, tak sah. Come on, its NS. #inisemuanormal But, if you fight with your man EVERY SINGLE DAY, thats, just.. Toxic. GETOUT. Any differences with bae? Definitely!! Alhamdulillah, he's becoming more understanding and soft spoken? How do I put this... Hm, for instance, when we had a fight previously, he was more of a calm person? He didn't really go all crazy mad, instead, he replied with a calmer tone. Maybe, he was too tired to continue the argument. So, yap, I love how he's calmer than usual, hes handling problems so much better. And, he's a much more clingy man, always confessing his love to me and that is so very rare of him. So, I guess, for now, NS has changed him in such a way. A GOOD WAY. Alhamdulillah. As for me, I'm so used to how everything is for me now. School, work, meeting my girls, production. There's a lot on my plate but I am thankful because everyday, without fail, Im able to smile even when bae is not physically here with me. But when he does...... I go all smiley, guise, like, even my face can't fit the smile that I have when I see him. Hahaha!

For the past 1 month, I've learnt something uh guise. To not expect much from anyone even if you already given your best to them. No, this has got nothing to do with my boyfriend. In case you guys are wondering. I love friends. I love making friends. New ones. No bad intentions, just, forging new friendships with people. But, some people are just so full of negativity and whatever good intentions you have, it will never be understood by the other party. I am adulting and I definitely don't wish to argue with anyone just because they have something that I don't, or just because they are someone that I can never be. At this age, all I pray for is lasting friendships, a responsible husband, a happy family, a good career and happily ever after in the Hereafter. So, I'm gonna keep my head strong and not let people bringing me down like how they wish I would be.. Whatever it is, it's your loss for thinking bad of me when in the first place all I hoped for is to be someone that you could talk to as a friend. But now, it changed my perception of you and I will never want to associate myself with someone like you. Because, really, "Aint nobody got time fo you"

Till then,
happily girl wishing everyone a good day ahead and PLEASE stay positive and avoid negativity AT ALL TIMES 😆

A MONTH OF NS

Hi, guys! Im going for the mak ciks line now. Pejam celik pejam celik, dah sebulan NS berlalu. HAHAHA! But really. A month of NS and we are still surviving. Time flies real fast, tbh. Just to share how everything is now. Alhamdulillah, he had his leave last Thursday night onwards. And will be booking in tmr night. Tonight will be the last night for us to go all mushy mushy before both of us get to work again. Just to share with you guys how our 1 month has been throughout this NS phase.

In a month, we had a misunderstanding TWICE. Yes, twice. The first fight, he was so cool about it that we reconciled after 5 minutes? In fact, we didn't even had any fights. He basically knew I was a little sad(for an unreasonable reason) and managed to put a smile on my face right after that. The second fight, which is today. HAHAHA! But again, he managed to go all "Babe, tonight, 8pm we go dinner again okay? Tang Tea House" and how could I say no to that? HAHAHA! Basically, we fought for the MOST COMMON NS FIGHT EVER. Time. Yes, time. Me, being clingy (can't help it right? Girls, we are like that. We are born this way), just needed his time for myself. A day isn't enough but, I realised I was being.. Unappreciative. It's normal, I guess. Heard it from my girlfriends how such fights would occur but no worries, our man is able to handle our clingyness, unreasonableness no matter what, all thanks to NS. No matter how childish he was before NS, but right after he undergo this phase, whatever fights yall have, they will probably chase us back and manja us like there's no tmr. BUT, don't ever take them for granted. As much as it hurts to only spend a day with him, I will have to stop being an ass, and understand bae's schedule, energy, and time.

In case you guys are wondering how our love is right now.. It's getting stronger and stronger. Trust me. This is in fact how my girlfriends' relationships are too. We are more understanding, more appreciative and more loving. Some peeps told me that their relationships got shaky and about to crumble down anytime soon. But some also told me how their relationship got better and better. All I can say is, it depends. It depends how in love you both are with each other. It takes 2 hands to clap. If you're the only one fighting for the relationship and the other goes "meh..", don't think it can work, right? What I feel is, NS is like a test to our relationship. It shows whether we would still stay and fight for each other or one of us would simply give it up and move on. It's sad but at the same time, it's healthy because NS strengthens your relationship. On the other hand, it removes toxic relationships as well.

Till then, we are still standing strong, and looking forward to the days to come.
Insya Allah..

Still keeping track

Third week of BMT and I really feel sorry for my baby. First 2 weeks, the conversations we had were all within 35 mins but now, 15 mins, guys. Thats how exhausted my baby is. I am completely fine with us communicating for only 15 mins since it's actually more than enough to share how our day was. Cause, all I do is work. Every. Single. Day. Nothing much except that I'm getting lots of money. HAHAHA! According to him, sergeant are all now tekan-ing them. I could hear one of them screamed while I was on the line with bae. Sergeant, please, chill. But, I understand. Camp is the only place that you guys have power. Right? (sarcasm at its best) Tbh, I hate the way they abuse their power. (My bro's a regular army but he is such a chill chill guy. Reasonable, humble and alhamdulillah, he got a higher position now) So, why are all this sergeant baru nak naik buat kecoh. So much of taking care of your men. But then again, tekan-ing in camp has become a tradition from generations to generations. But please, don't try to imitate U.S army style of training. (insert facepalm emoji, if there is one)

So, after all my ranting here. I ain't gonna be that girl, being angry at my man for not able to communicate with me for 35 mins. Fasting and doing all these training, not enough sleep, is wearing him off. If I were him, I'd probably go AWOL. Now, you know why I'm born as a woman. Because, we, women, run when things get hard. HAHA :P

If you're reading this bb, I want you to know, I am still here, loving you and I am not going to give up up until you get through this phase, okay? Nobody said NS is easy but we adjust to it and make do with whatever we have okay. I won't want to make things even difficult for you. I want to be that girl you will always want to go home to..

See you REAL soon, my soldier..

1st book out day

Hi, guys! Yesterday was bae's first book out day after 2 weeks confinement in BMT. I finally had a strong reason to doll myself up. Bb was really looking good, on the bike, despite the fact that he's botak now. Before he arrived at my place, I was sooooo nervous, my heart was pumping so hard and I couldn't stop smiling. It was like our first date all over again.... 😍

To be honest, the 2 weeks were okay. Only the first few days were hard and the last few days were hard. First few days, not used to it and last few days, it felt sooooo long for bae to book out. HAHAHA! I just feel like these 2 weeks was like a test for us. To see whether if we would still be there for each other after the 2 weeks. I'm just so in love with bae that talking to anyone besides him, wouldn't make me feel better at all. I guess, at the end of the day, it is all about how strong your love is for someone. And knowing that being loyal is not a duty or an obligation but its a choice. Well, today, is another day of spending some time with bae. Even if it is only a few hours shopping for his army stuffs and we will be back home for our first breaking fast with our families at home 💓

I love you and I still love you, Kamarul Arriffin 💋

4 more days

Hi, guys! 4 more days to go to bb's first book out! Yes, I am sooo eggcited. Alhamdulillah, 11 days without bb is not that bad actually. Can't deny though that the first 3 days was quite bad. It took us 3 days to be fine. I guess, thats the average number of days for us to get used to a new routine?

2 weeks confinement is ending soon and I guess, these 2 weeks should be one of the toughest stage for both baby and myself. But, it isn't that hard...... Frankly speaking, I don't even feel that lonely or wanting to cheat on him.. No, I have no such feelings. AT ALL. I am fine most of the days. Its not that I don't miss my bae. I miss him every second. But, I don't get angry that he has to go thru NS, he has to sleep at 10pm... I don't. So.... I created my own theory to why I feel this way.

First. Maybe, it's because I AM BUSY most of the time. Juggling 3 jobs. Monday Tuesday Sakura AND teaching. Wednesday Thursday Friday Office AND teaching. Saturday and Sunday Sakura AND family. So, I am actually completely occupied. Work all day and by then, it's already 10pm and bae would probably call me at that timing, usually. I don't have time to even socialise with anyone that much..

Secondly... I AM CRAZY FOR MY BOYFRIEND. He's perfect the way he is. And, there is nothing that I wish I could have in him. So, perhaps, thats the reason why I am loyal even when he's in Tekong for the entire 2 weeks. (Insya Allah he's meant for me)

I love being at home, watch my movies, read books, spend time with my family, with bae, with my girlfriends. Its not that I am an anti-social person. (or is it I am?) HAHAHA! Some people loves the crowd, the talks. But, I guess, I prefer being with a small crowd that I am able to count on anytime.... Is it I'm getting older at a faster rate already?

Missing you, bae. Come home soon, love.....

NSF girlfriend heart's content

Hi guys! Since I have more free time, why not I start blogging about how my life is now, being a girlfriend to an NSF. Might be helpful tho to some of you couples experiencing the same shit as me. 

Background check

Been together with my man for 2 years, to be exact, 1 year 11 months + 💓 We are a very, entirely, clingy couple. How clingy? We've been working together, in the same outlet, same timing, for over a year or more. To add on, before NS, we had been meeting every single day, at most 6 days per week and at least 3 days per week. For this whole period of being with him, we NEVER failed to update about our whereabouts and at night, we NEVER failed to sum up how our day was. Sure, every relationship has its ups and downs. Especially when we are dating a man who is not a well-established man YET. So, we, girls, gotta be understanding right? and PATIENT. Every crisis that we had, somehow or rather, we get to overcome it at the end of the day 😆 

Once NS begins

My man has always wanted to get into civil defence as a regular but luck's not on his side. Letter came in and tada, A R M Y. He never stopped complaining to me about it. Even before he got into Tekong, he's already hating it. 

So, his first day, it sucked. A LOT. Homesick all the way. He had no friends. (obviously. First day. What do we all expect) The food sucks according to him. He had to take a ferry to an island foreign to him. Ignorant people would probably go "Still Singapore what. Dramatic for what" I got that a lot and I held my fist to myself for a quite number of times. So, whatever ignorant people. Dont wish to explain to mindless people. Sila meninggal :) So back to my story.. 

Day 1 and Day 2, he was really homesick. He called me up. He was so upset. Through the phone, I could sense how unhappy he was. How he felt like crying. And I totally understand how it feels like for him. He missed home. His mother. Me... 

So, day 1 and day 2 already taught me about #1 Be mentally strong for your man AND yourself

Day 1, I was totally alright. All thanks to my hectic schedule. Office job from 1 to 6 and continued teaching from 7.30 to 9pm. Got home and all ready to sleep. So, yup, it was okay for me. 

Day 2, damn. Emotions kicked in. Woke up and checked my cell for a while and I almost forgot he's in the army and realised my routine's changing. No morning texts. No I love you calls every hour. (Thats how clingy we used to be) Day 2, I cried. Yes, I pathetically cried. In the bathroom. It got worst when I went for my 3rd job which is the outlet both of us used to work together. Opened the locker and WELCOME, WATERFALL. I cried real bad that I had to call up a friend. The photos in the locker, the happy memories together, the way he always helped me at work. Yup, all the memories gushed in my mind like there wasn't any friction yo. But, I was happy at the end of the day though once he managed to give me a call at night. 

Day 3, which is today. I am doing fine now. Woke up with positive vibes. Vacuum the whole entire house, completed kitchen chores, did a 15 mins workout (because 1, I want to look fresh and beautiful once he's out and 2, I want to do something to distract myself from thinking of him all the time) Watched a movie to ease my mind and enjoy my own free time! And now, blogging to get all my heart contents out, just to share and feel good about life. 

So, day 3 taught me about #2 Keep yourself busy, healthily and positively 

To be honest, I am proud to be an NSF girlfriend. I am proud of my soldier. I know, I will see the differences in him after he steps out of Tekong. And, he will also see the changes in me once he's out. NS not only changes your man into a better man but it changes us, girls from a whiny, clingy, not understanding person to a more independent, understanding girlfriend. 

I feel so thankful to all my friends who have been supportive for my man and myself. Especially Zul, Feroz and Marina for all their experience sharing. I am definitely prepared for this 2 weeks. NS pulls us apart physically but mentally wise, nah-uh. I'm still loving my man and I'll be here with my man till the end. Insya Allah.. 

P/s. What comes easy won't last and what lasts won't come easy. 

Survived

So, first and foremost, I thought I am able to consume whipped cream and coffee again but even after a year or so, I still can't :') Till today, I have to remind bae that if he ever buys me starbucks, no whipped cream and no coffee. Thank God I had my usual pills with me on that day.

Been days, weeks or even a month of not able to post anything. All thanks to mid-sem tests, projects and the upcoming final exams. This 4th semester is really a tough one, tbh. One of the toughest semester so far. Didn't manage to do that well for mid-sem but I really hope the projects are able to push up my grades, together with my final exams. 

Bae got home after 4 days being in Bali. Those 4 days, weren't that bad for me since I was all busy doing my crazy Investment project. Yup, I had to come up with a 60 pages report, come up with the ratios using the unconsolidated statements in the annual reports. It was crazy. Didn't get enough sleep. Had to drink redbull and the after effect was bad. I felt soooo tired after my energy ran out. Managed to get started on my other 2 projects since already did my part on the investment project. Bae been away is not that bad actually. HAHAHAHA i love you, bb. Just that, it gets my work done asap since I wasn't always with my phone. Even so, when I get to bed at the end of the day, I truly missed him mad crazy :') Especially when knowing Bali got an earthquake and bae sent me a text that there was an earthquake and the ceiling ricks were falling, already enough to scare me. With the bad wifi there, we didn't get to communicate properly and it left me with a lot of questions, whether he's safe there or not.. Just so relieved that he safely reached Singapore. 

Before he went away to Bali, it was my FIRST time swimming in Siloso Beach. And, I love it so much since we all know, there are no fishes, jellyfish, or whatever creatures underneath. Just seaweeds. And the water was so cooling and clean. Because yes I know, artificial. But, I love it. I felt safe in the water. Mainly because I know there are no creatures underneath. I just have this fear that there could be crocodiles underneath, baby sharks or crabs and clams. So thankful to have an artificial beach. HAHAHA! Definitely will swim there again with bae!

Can't wait for another date with bae this Saturday after school and project meetings!

Exams are around the corner ~

Just got home from a short date with bae and collide (2017) was super gooooood!Worth every cent. The romance, actions, a lil comedy, was really something I didn't expect from the movie. (Reviews were unreliable tbh) And the best part is, I could relate the character with bae and when the character said "no one ever said that to me", that made me smile because thats what bae felt too when he met me. I don't mind rewatching it over and over again.. 

Left another 2 semesters and I hope I won't fail any mod this sem. Eventho this sem's been pretty tough, (im suppose to get my tutorials done now btw) but the thought of having another 2 semesters left, keeps me going. Now, Im 22. And I'll be graduating when Im 23, starting my 1st full time job, and next, probably working my ass off day and night to not only pay my daily expenses, but carrying out my responsibility as a daughter and perhaps, collecting money for my future wedding, with bae (if he's meant for me of course) Definitely looking forward to the future but at the same time, afraid if whats gonna happen is not exactly what I have in mind. BUT, different people has different sustenance, different challenges. Some people has a lot of wealth, but are having difficulties in conceiving while some may have 4,5 kids but unable to support all financially. So, moral of the story, whatever is going to happen in the future or even what is going on now, I will not sigh and complain, I will just keep going, appreciating every little details in life, appreciating those around me, being with me thru ups and downs.. 

Can't wait for another date with you again... 

38 Degrees Celsius

Been days of being sick, I can't hear much, I can't really taste anything. But, I am thankful that I am sick. Maybe, cause when Im not, Id probably be working my ass off and would not give my body a chance to sit, rest, watch tv or even take a nap. 

3 jobs and schooling keeps me busy all week. The thing is, it is already a routine for me and I dont feel exhausted like how I thought I would be. Tutoring and seeing my student excel in her studies day by day makes me happy, being an accounts assistant, dealing with cheques, accounting system, makes me happy and working at sakura on some days with bae and amazing friends who never failed to make me laugh, makes me happy. So, why should I even feel miserable having 3 jobs that I absolutely love? But then, my body has failed me. hahaha! The truth is, I just need an ample rest before I gear myself up even more. 

Upcoming quizzes and mid-sem tests, sort of putting a pressure on me now, and at this rate, if I dont force myself to revise, Id probably have to repeat another sem, paying another huge sum of money. So, happy revising to me. 

And, happy Sunday to everyone!

Sweet Revenge

Another post in a week. Just had to express my contentment tonight. Met a whole lot of bad people back then (who could be nice now? idk) I am going to be partially honest tonight. I messed things up quite a lot in the past and things did get quite ugly between me and some people. I tend to get all emotionally unstable when things didn't go my way. Thats one. And, I loved feeling in love? I don't quite know how to explain it but in simple terms, I was a hopeless romantic. But, at some point of our lives, we would meet a bunch of ungrateful and full of bad agendas BOYS (if you know what I mean) I met some and it wasn't a pleasant experience at all! Tbh, it seemed like as if they didn't have a heart? At that point of time, all i said in my heart was; its okay, forgive them and let it go

Of about 2 years knowing bae, and I have never felt so secured and loved by someone. People may misjudge him for looking like a really bad guy(hahah sorry bb, but its the truth) But, he has never played with my heart or any girls' hearts. (Since i am the second girl hes with) Honest, loyal, sincere, , generous and HE DOES NOT HAVE ANY AGENDAS. BAD agendas. I had to meet several douchebags to get to you. I was emotionally unstable and was trying to figure my way out in life. But ever since I met you, you changed me into a better person, who lowers down her ego and not demanding way too much from anyone. You taught me so much and I wish I could type everything down in just 1 night but maybe some other nights, I would be typing more of it. 

I love you, sayang.. 

Yumi Blue

Morning, beautiful people! Been a while since I blogged. A lot of commitments the past few weeks. And finally, able to type out something here. Nothing comes easy in life but alhamdulillah, the challenges that He presented me with, simply taught me how to be strong for myself, how not to be naive and how to always have faith despite all the downfalls. 

These past few weeks, the multiple dance practice got me closer with my barbie girls, lemon, berry and honey. They are the kind of friends that I can always count on for anything. All of em' have separate opinions but they never lied to me just to please me. They are the best that I could ask for. 

A year and nine months with bae, it wasn't ALWAYS pleasant. But, somehow, we always try to work it out at the end of the day. We are completely different people, just like my barbie girls, we all have different personalities. But, thats what makes all of us close, right? The good thing about him is, somehow, once he gets to reflect on life, he would figure out his own mistakes and would eventually come up to me and explain every single shit that I had to put up with. hahaha! A million reasons to leave but only takes 1 reason for the both of us to stay. Love. We will always work things out as long as we are both meant for each other. If one day, he's not meant for me, then, we would have to walkaway. But, as long as we can see a future together, I would never leave him for another, no matter how hard it gets, (since life has never been easy) I would still stay, fighting for the both of us. 

We have been in different phases eventho its only a year and nine months. Only those who are close with us, are able to see our hardships back then. They know, He knows and we know. Alhamdulillah for everything... 

Ups & downs

Things won't always be all nice and sugary. But, I will always stay hopeful for better days to come. I couldn't deny that there were times I questioned His way of arranging my life, my struggles, my happiness, everything. But, I shouldn't have. No one ever told me that life is gonna be all flowery all the time. But, there is always a reason why He gave me hardships in the middle of all the good things I have. Probably to remind me to always remember him and stay down to earth no matter how happy or successful I am. Whatever the hardships that I'm going through now is definitely something way more worth it than the ones I had back then. (tbh, looking back, dont think it fits to be called a "hardship") 

May Allah ease all our troubles......

Ms Happy

Today was simply productive! :) Managed to focus in class, got my eyebrows done and finally did my revision of the topic learnt in class today while bb's at JB with his brother. Can't wait for another day of learning tomorrow..

Since I have the time to blog now, I am finally able to type down the memories I had with bae on our previous date. Initially, we wanted to try out flavourflings specials but, somehow, we craved for badoque's huge portions dishes instead. So, we had early dinner @ Bedok Badoque Cafe with me wearing the outfit I wore during the first time bae set his gaze on me behind the bar. (I didn't even realise his presence there) Always a good time with him from day 1, even before we got serious with each other. We were too busy with work that all we needed was a simple date where we could talk, reflect and share the things we didn't have the time to talk about. And when we always start meeting each other at one point, thats when we'd rather have adventures together, and laugh constantly without long conversations in between. Went to catch Return of Xander cage in GV (We have another 4 sets of free GV tix) and honestly, I'd just give it 6/10 rating. ALOT of actions but it was too much, i guess? It made me cringe watching some scenes. Maybe I am not really into these type of movies. We seldom watch movies outside cause' both of us feels that we might as well sit at home and skype while watching movies "together" but.... WE GOT FREE TIX. Free, guise. So, why not? Better use them than wasting them just like that!

Last week's been a great week again for me. Till then, loving today's weather 💧

Fifty Two

Caught 52 yabby today with bae. It was one of the best nights ever. Initially, there was an event and we had to wait for about 2 hours and finally managed to prawn for 3 hours. It was definitely worth it because it was a continuous catch for the both of us. 3 hours of conversation with bae about almost everything. Surprisingly, after all those youtube tutorials that he had been watching, he managed to get a gudetama from the claw machine despite me nagging and saying how he wouldnt be able to get it and claw machines are all a scam. Was speechless when gudetama was in the claw. FOR THE FIRST TIME EVER. HAHAHA! Its not about the doll that he won for me but it felt... satisfying to win something from the claw machine.

 Super relaxing today and I am actually grateful that I took urgent leave. $45 gone but that's okay cause today was simply A.M.A.Z.I.N.G. Will never trade bb for anyone or anything else. (Insya Allah, hes my jodoh) I know I've been saying that a couple of times but every word that comes out from our mouth is dua, right? So, I will keep on saying that okay, guise. 

Till then, I will always have faith in everything that sort of seems impossible. Like the claw machine.....

New routine

Second day of school and I'm slowly getting used to travelling to school again, focusing in class, and interacting with people(eventhough how I wish I could stay silent all the way). Not that I'm an anti-social but at times, all we want to do is to stay quiet, right? Just feels like writing tonight since I feel that today was entirely productive and I just needed to feel satisfied by writing it all down. Went for both lectures and managed to mail out a set of novels for buyer. Before that, sold my commercial law textbook to a business student in school. I just love selling all my used textbooks, earning a few dollars back makes me feel happy about it. (actually its quite a substantial amount of money) 

Didn't get to meet bae today but thats okay. We need our rest after a long day in school and I have to start on my revision. Yup, I'll be starting right after this post! Already told myself to stop skipping classes and that, no matter how busy I am, I will still have to be consistent in my revision. Insya Allah, I am able to do well at the end of this 4th semester. At the same time, I still wanna go on dates with bb.. Going out with angels and family. 

Till then, alhamdulillah for everything. Alhamdulillah for another tiring but super productive day!

Blessed

Woke up with an uneasy feeling, knowing that today was supposedly my slimming treatment. Yes, you heard me right guise, slimming treatment. (I am not crazy btw) A girl can appear all slim but there will always be this thing called "belly fat"(because we have a womb right?) Whatever it is, thanks to my angels and bb for continuously telling me that I don't need it at all and with Allah's will, I actually stumbled upon a lot of bad reviews about their weight loss service. So, i cancelled my whole appointment with them and decided to eat mom's nasi lemak (2 rounds for every meal) and cakes and ice cream.. The list goes on and on. I will eat as much as I want, as long as its before 8. So much of keeping my stomach flat. I guess, I would have to depend on bb to help me out with my belly fat. (Help me, bb)

Tonight has been one of the best night with the good ole classic birthday celebration at home with dearest family and it was a really big surprise. Was too busy with printing of school notes and dealing with buyers online that I didn't even notice them preparing the cake and gifts on the dining table. I almost teared tho but I had to keep my cool. At that moment, no matter how bad we argue, debate, can't get into an agreement, we would always come back to each other and that makes me so happy. 22 now and I remembered most of the mistakes I did to them in my early teens and here they are, still loving me so unconditionally. From a non-hijab girl to a hijab girl with lots of flaws and now, still lots of flaws, they are the ones who are there to always remind me to get back to the right path when I go astray. Alhamdulillah for another blissful day.. 

22

Tomorrow's my 22nd birthday and its my only day off after 2 weeks of working continuously w/o any leave. Being 22 makes me more anxious, knowing that I have to be a more responsible person. Despite my main priority of paying both the interest and principal amount every month, saving up and treating bb, family and myself is another thing. Working 3 jobs and schooling at the same time is quite tough but alhamdulillah, its been 1 and a half years and still standing strong now. Surprisingly, I enjoy what I have been doing. Working with bb at Sakura for a year now, teaching for a year now, and accounts assistant for over 3 months now is sort of like one of the major accomplishments in my life. When I was younger, all I cared about was having a large social circle but now, I realised whatever mattered to me back then dont matter to me now. Priorities have changed and what I have now is so much better than everything I used to want. Pretty sure everyone's priorities change overtime and as time goes by, it'll get easier. Keep on loving what we do and insya Allah, life won't be that bad after all. At the end of the day, spending time with family, bb and my angels is what I will always want to do.. Till then, happy 22nd birthday to me! 😈